I shall give you a second chance
by Akolyte121
Summary: OneShot. During Third Impact Shinji is visited by someone from his past who offers him a chance to change everything.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. If I did i wouldn't be writing fanfics.I would be in some big house counting my money.

Shinji Ikari was on the edge of sanity.

Where was he?

He was curled up in some black void.

He couldn't see anything except darkness, and could hear nothing.

It was a complete area of nothing.

How did he get here? Where was here?

He floated along, wondering what will become of him.

At least here no one demanded anything from him.

No problems and no pain.

There was nothing…just peace.

He remembered nearly being killed by the JSSDF. How Misato had saved him.

He remembered the kiss.

He remembered her death.

He remembered piloting Unit 01.

Asuka had been calling for him, hadn't she? Yes, she had been calling him to come save her. But he couldn't. His Eva wouldn't respond to his pleas.

He remembered seeing her…her Eva's corpse.

He began to tear up, knowing he had failed her. One of the few people he thought he could trust, and he couldn't save her.

The tears were now flowing…Oh God, I can't even protect those close to me…I'm useless…less than nothing.

When did everything go so wrong?

Rei Ayanami…the one person who understood him…the one person he trusted, no used to trust, and risen before him and offered to make everything go away.

Without realizing it, he had accepted.

That's when it happened.

Third Impact.

Images had been flashing by so fast when Unit 01 was incorporated into Lilith.

He had seen so many different things.

He had given everyone on the planet their own paradise.

Everyone but himself.

He didn't deserve paradise.

He deserved to suffer.

To suffer for all those who suffered for him.

Maybe this was his punishment.

So be it…

That's when he heard it.

Footsteps, coming closer.

Shinji raised his head in the direction of the sound, and froze at the sight.

There off in the distance stood a figure in a silver cloak carrying the Lance of Longinus.

The figure drew closer, until it floated only a few feet from him.

With one pale hand it reached up and threw back the hood of its cloak.

Shinji's eyes flew wide open, Kawrou!

Kawrou Nagisa, the Fifth Child and Seventeenth Angel, stood there. His red eyes shown undying happiness and he had a warm smile on his face.

"Wh…What are you doing here?" Shinji asked in a monotone voice, too stunned to be angry or scared.

"I am here because of you, Shinji Ikari," replied Kawrou, the smile never once leaving his face.

Shinji Ikari could only stare back, "What do you mean?"

"I have come to show you a different path, dear Shinji," the grey-haired boy replied mysteriously.

With that he reached forward with his hand and touched Shinji on the forehead.

And a memory from long ago came rushing back.

_Shinji walked with his guardian, the purple-haired major Misato Katsuragi, as they left the hospital. The Fifth Angel Ramiel had been defeated the night before and Ayanami was still in the hospital. _

_He remembered pulling the hatch of her white-hot entry plug. He still remembered the smile she had given him. Shinji vowed he would never forget her in that instant. _

_He knew he was falling for the albino, but he didn't deserve her. He had no right to be near something so pure. He was weak, he couldn't protect her._

"_Do you wanna come back and see her tomorrow?" Misato asked as they approached her car._

_Shinji looked up from his contemplations. He wanted to see Rei again but he knew he shouldn't. He would only bother her._

"_No"_

Shinji was brought back out of his memories and stood there gasping in air while Kawrou spoke.

"That is when you chose your course"

"Chose my course?"

Kawrou's eyes now had a trace of sadness in it. "Yes, you Lilim have no idea what you have until it's too late or never see it at all. Had you chosen differently, this play would have turned out much differently."

Shinji could only stare wordlessly at the Angel in front of him. What could he have done differently?

Kawrou's smile disappeared, as if he could read his mind, "My little sister was waiting for you to come back, but you never did."

Shinji was stunned. Ayanami was waiting for him? Why would she do that?

"Ayanami wanted me to come back to her? Why? She didn't need a wimp like me. She could take care of herself. It was better this way. I don't deserve to be near her. I don't deserve anything." Shinji said, looking down at his feet.

Kawrou now had a frown on his face. "You don't realize how beautiful you really are, dear Shinji. Sister may not have needed you, but she wanted to be near you. She wanted your company because she felt safe near you. But you let your flaws come through. You chose to run away rather than face the feelings building up inside you. You chose to hide rather than stay. Thus, this is the result, Third Impact, the melding of God and man. And your personal hell."

Shinji couldn't say anything. That one choice caused all of this?

"Would you like to see what could have happened if you had gone back?"

Before Shinji could respond, Kawrou placed his palm back on Shinji's forehead, and this time, he saw something else:

"_You did not have to run Ikari-kun. I was not going to leave so soon." Rei said as she prepared to leave. She sat on the hospital bed; a bag of clothes lay beside her. Shinji was finally breathing normally; he smiled at Rei. He gave her a card and some sugarless chocolates in a box. Dr. Akagi had warned him of Rei's dislike for meat and intolerance for sugar. _

"_I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss you, Ayanami-san!" Spoke Shinji. "Hope you like the chocolates, they're sugarless." _

"_Thank you, Ikari-kun." Rei spoke with a mildly surprised look in her face. _

In his mind they jumped forward to his room, with Rei in it!

**Yes, **came Kawrou's voice in his head,** Sister moved in with you. You took care of her, and protected her from the harsh realities of you world. You two eventually fell in love, and that is the most beautiful thing in the world.**

Shinji saw him and Rei watching the sun set across the city skyline. He saw them hanging out with Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari. He saw all of the last months happen in a totally different way than they did.

But most of all, he saw Rei reject Gendo and not perform Third Impact.

He saw him and Rei marry, and have children.

This was too much for Shinji. How could that one decision cause such things.

"You're telling me, if I had gone to visit Rei in the hospital, all of this could have been avoided?" Shinji said in a voice barely above a whisper.

To say this was hard to accept his like saying the Atlantic Ocean is a little wet.

Kawrou simply nodded.

"It is said that that something as insignificant as the flap of a butterfly's wing will cause a typhoon on the other side of the world," Kawrou said sadly. "That is the Chaos theory, and very apt in this situation."

Shinji's little self-confidence evaporated in a heartbeat. A moment of cowardice had cost him a lifetime of happiness.

"But, fear not, I have an idea," said Kawrou. He gave Shinji the most piercing glare that would make even the worst of Gendo Idari's pale in comparison.

"If you could go back and change this course, would you?" asked Kawrou with all seriousness.

Shinji nodded. He would, but he couldn't.

"Then you'll just have to trust me."

Shinji's eyes grew wide

"Trust you! You betrayed me! You made me kill you!" yelled Shinji at the top of his lungs. "Do you have any idea what it's like to kill the one person you trust? Why did you make me do it? Why, WHY KAWROU!"

Shinji just looked into the Angel's eyes and saw no malice, only contentment.

"Every Lilim deserves a chance at happiness, even you. No, especially you," said Kawrou. The Angel took a few steps back, "Do you wish to change the past?" he asked.

Shinji just nodded.

Kawrou's gentle smile returned, and he raised the Lance of Longinus.

Shinji raised his hands before him and asked the one question that had been bothering him.

"Why are you helping me?"

Kawrou's smile never waivered, "Because I am the Angel of Free Will, and you have suffered so much. Thus I choose to do this."

"Besides," he added, "I love you."

Before Shinji could respond, Kawrou hurled the Lance into Shinji's chest.

Shinji awoke with a start, back in his bed in Misato's apartment, wondering about the weird dream he just had.

Who was that grey-haired boy? Shinji couldn't remember the rest, just the boy holding that spear.

It had been a week since the Fifth Angel attack, and today was special for some reason…

"Oh, dammit! Ayanami gets out of the hospital today!"

He jumped up from the bed, grabbed the chocolates he had bought earlier, and bolted for the door.

As the Third Child ran down the street towards the train station, a lone figure stood on top of his apartment.

Kawrou Nagisa had disobeyed divine orders, but it was worth it. He knew he would still die in this timeline, but he would do so gladly for Shinji's sake.

As he turned to leave, he stopped and glanced over his shoulder one last time at the retreating figure.

"Go Shinji, and have a happy life with Sister."

**The End**

Author's notes:

I'm not quite sure why this story popped in my head.

Thanks goes to dennisud for allowing me to base this story off of "Of Comfort and Kindness" Why are you still here? Go read his fic!

This is my second fic so please let me know how it is.

R&R and thank you.

-Akolyte121


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